Rices

I went to Rices Market saturday mornign with Tash. It was alot of fun. There were theese cute little bunnies that we played around with. I had fifteen dollars, and ended up getting ice tea lip gloss, a blue Hollister shirt and a moose beany baby i named Fred.


Uhhh. My dad and Grandma are in the other room "talking." Shit. It seems like every thing has been going haywire with them since Dad and Debbie started dating. I can tell this si the bad kind of discssion because to escape it, Debbie took me and Steve to Espositos, the local ice cream place. When we got back, dad sed this solom "Hello" and Steve was like "You don't sound very happy" and Dads like "This isnt a good time." And then we went into the office and Dad came in and is like "Sarah,put your head phones on" and then he closed the door, which is a biggy because the office door is never closed. I can hear my Grandma blowing her nose, which means shes crying. I try to be an optimist but it's really really hard sometimes. And I really have to pee right now but I'm not allowed to leave the office, which sucks. I think the attitude I really need to have is "Yah,well,life can be a bitch sometimes, but you just need to smile and stay strong and pretend that nothing is wrong." But it's hard to do that when everyone else around you is crotchety.
I guess thats really all I have to say, and I'll try to keep you updated on the Dad-Grandma situation.

And one more thing. A while back, I was reading Kate's blog, and she had a post wondering if any one actually READ her blog. And I saw it, and I got to thinking, does anyone actaulyl read MY blog?(Besides Lilly) Cuz,serioualy, I wouldn't think it was wierd or anything if you lurked my blog, following the files of my life. I would actually think it was pretty cool. Really cool.

SO IF YOU READ MY BLOG AND YOU ARE NOT LILLY, PLEASE PLEASE COMENT!

....And hes gone.

*He's gone

I can't beleive it. He was so awsome and so young. I loved him.

I'm praying that he'll keep up with his career though. I dont want him to just fade out of the picture.

Please comment if you SAD (fuck of, haters!) thats hes gone.



*Sanjaya

Ashley

Did you here about hat girl, Ashley Ferl? The one who went to American idol and burst into tears because she was so star struck. And then Ryan noticed her, and Sanjaya gave her a hug?And then she got backstage passes?And Paula gave her a pair of heart earings?

That girl is ungodly lucky.

Okay, have I ranted about how much I love Sanjaya enough? Are you getting seroisuly annoyed and pissed?Okay, then I'll *try* to stop. But I'm not making any promises.

Also, i wrote a story. It goes a little something like this:

The Incredibly Wishful Sar-jaya Fan fiction


Once upon a time, there was a girl named Sarah. Sarah was very famous. She was an actress, and had written lots of books. Well, Sarah was young and talented and pretty, so naturally, a lot of guys “wanted” her. (And who wouldn’t, because honestly, she was tremendously gorgeous.) But Sarah was sick of guys her own age. (Which was 26, by the way.) They were immature and well, truthfully, very ugly. Sarah decided that she should go for older men, because they were established and probably were into younger woman, especially blonde ones named Sarah. So one day, while watching re-runs of American Idol, a youngish, Indian-Italian guy with a pony-hawk caught her eye. He looked very familiar... and then she realized it! This guy, whose name, by the way, was Sanjaya, had won Season Six of American Idol and had been Sarah’s sixth grade obsession she thought about it more, she realized he was only six years older then her, plus, he was kinda hot. (Okay, really hot.) And he was also totally rich from winning American Idol. And he had a couple of albums out, which, she realized after searching through her c-d rack a bit, she owned. So she looked in the yellow pages, and, miraculously enough, there he was! So, after gathering up her courage, she called him up and said “Hey Sanjaya. This is Sarah Demarest, you know, the famous girl. Well, I think your really hot and I was wondering if you would like to be my new boyfriend?” Sanjaya, who was single, was extremely flattered by this offer and accepted immediately.
The two, now known as “Sar-jaya”, were America’s newest sweethearts. Sanjaya once again became a heart throb, and Sarah was happy. Sanjaya was just about the sweetest guy ever, and they made a perfect team, because Sarah was now his lyricist. Sarah, who was an astoundingly good writer, wrote songs for him, and he sung them. Now, when he was on American Idol, everyone said Sanjaya was a bad singer, but he wasn’t. He was just shy and didn’t know how to “let his voice out” on camera. But Sanjaya knew how to do that now, and even though some people still trashed him, Sarah just said a few very rude words to them and they were put in there place. As the years passed, Sanjaya and Sarah stayed together. And when she was old, he sat on a rocking chair next to her, singing her the songs that she wrote. Now that Sanjaya was very old, nearly ninety, he had basically lost his singing talent.

But that was okay, because Sarah was deaf anyway.

A video that proves Sanjaya is not a bad singer.

Sanjaya

This is my new idol:


Is he not gorgeous?


Look at those eyes, that hair. And people are so mean to him. As Sanjayas aunt said in an interview "The media has better things to do then trash on an innocent seventeen year old." Or something like that. Anyway, he is so NOt bad. I hope he wins. I love him. I even made a shirt.
I am the future Mrs.Malakar.

The Cay

Today we got our The Cay essays back. Ofcourse,I got an A+ ("Marvoulous!Beautifully written!") and so did Tash. But when I looked at her comments,they were like "Amazing!" and "Spectactular Writing Talents!" and "Bravo,Natasha!". And,well, I was wierdly jealous of her. I know and should be a good friend and be happy for her, but I just cant seem to do that. Jealousy has always been an issue between Tash and I ("When I mess up, no one cares,but when Sarah messes up..."), but its mostly been her being jealous of me, not the other way around. I guess this must be what Tash feels like all the time during I.L.A, always second best, never the center of attention. But Tash is used to that,she's learned that sometimes people are just better then you. Tash excepts that, but I dont. I'm a perfectionist. I always want to be the best, first place, the spotlight on me. I thrive on attention, she doesnt.

And thats just how it is.

Poetry Post

Have you Ever?

By Sarah Demarest



Have you ever felt lost in darkness
When the moon brightly shown?

Have you ever been in a room full of people
And felt all alone?

Have you ever seen a mute man speak
Or a blind man see?

Have you ever looked at yourself
And thought you were looking at me?

Have you ever seen a convict accused of murder
And told yourself he was really a good man?

Have you ever felt as if you were being chased
No matter how fast you ran?

Have you ever known something for no reason at all
Just known because you knew?

Have you ever loved someone
Who couldn’t ever love you?